Thursday Thirteen #2
13 Things About Dane Bramage
13 Reasons Why I Am Going to Have Bariatric Surgery
Five years ago I contemplated the idea of Bariatric surgery. Well more than contemplated it. I actually joined the program and saw the doctors and dietitians, the whole nine yards. What kept me from going through with it was insurance. My plan would not cover it. Well that has changed and I am in the program again. This time it looks very likely my insurance will cover it this time. In honor of that I am listing 13 reasons why I chose/need to have Bariatric surgery.
- At the dinner table I sit next to everybody. Same thing at the theater.
- My belt size is "Equator" I have to put it on with a boomerang.
- My cereal bowl comes with a lifeguard. Sometimes I just eat from a satellite dish.
- My driver's license picture says "continued on other side". And it is an aerial shot to boot!
- When I jump into the air I get stuck. I can't even jump to a conclusion.
- I caught a flesh-eating virus and the doctor gave me 10 years to live.
- I have to iron my pants in the driveway
- At the zoo, elephants throw me peanuts. Still not as bad as having Greenpeace try to roll me back into the ocean when I sunbath.
- I have smaller fat men orbiting me.
- Once I went missing and they used all four sides of the milk carton.
- I have my own zip code. And my butt has its own congressman!
- My belly button doesn't have lint, it has sweaters.
- At restaurants I don't get a menu, I get an estimate.
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11 comments:
clever assessment
Loved your TT!
I'm an RNY post-op. 3 years out Took me a long time to decide.
Interesting list. Good luck.
Very witty.
Good luck with the surgery.
Loved your TT. I've been contemplating surgery, myself. My uncle's fiance had it 3 years ago, and she's looking (and feeling!) pretty good. Wishing you all the bset.
My TT: http://mamakitty729.wordpress.com/2009/10/22/089/
Hilarous! #9 cracked me up so hard I scared the dog and the cat!
I've had weight issues most of my life so I know it's not a laughing matter and I wish you great success with your surgery!
Thanks for stopping by The PopArtDiva Blog and commenting on my THIRTEEN STUPID CLICHES - Grrrrrrrr!
I should have included this one I heard WAY too often: You have such a pretty face! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
#s 5 & 6 really made me laugh...good luck with your weight loss journey! I started one of my own in September 2008...so far, so good!
I wish you the best of luck with your upcoming surgery. Thank you for the laughs.
Calico Contemplations
Thanks for the giggle. You have a great sense of humour.
Good luck with the surgery. I hope it goes well and that you see results quickly.
Good luck we will all be waiting for the 13 reasons why it was successful!
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