Dave and Evil Dave

Here is a little photochop I did if my friend Dave. You have know idea how hard it was to remove his tattoos. Kidding.
Anyway here is the source. I had to cover the trash on the table and the clutter in the background. I think next on my agenga is to liquify part of Dave. He won't mind it a bit Bwahahahaha!

White and Nerdy

No, seriously!
H/T beth at And Then I Woke Up

Who Is Colleen Gleason?

Who is Colleen Gleason? I don't know either other than she is kind enough to stop by my Thursday Thirteens and leave a comment now and then. Oh yeah, she is a novelist. Check out her blog For All the World to See and watch this promotional Trailer for her upcoming novel The Rest Falls Away: The Gardella Vampire Chronicles (Paperback) I'm told it will be like Buffy the Vampire Slayer meets Pride and Prejudice. You can preorder it now at Amazon (previous link) and I have it on my list of books to get.



And ask her whats the difference between novelist and author. Then explain it to me.

My Blogger Photo

I have changed my Blogger Photo. I started with this pic..



Since the view through my french doors revealed my unsightly deck with a bag of trash sitting there, I had to make some modifications. I cloned the firstt set of panes to the second and third set. I then moved my carcass to the left to conceal the rather large pile of laundry behind me. The result is this...

Ode to My Best Friend’s Feet Which Stink

A while back, beth at And Then I woke Up had weekly poetry contests. I wrote this poem for beth's sonnet competition. It was inspired by Dave, the foot source for my photochopped Thursday Thirteen logo. One of his many cats had anointed his flip flops and I think he was the only one who couldn't smell it. So here is:

Ode to My Best Friend's Feet Which Stink

At long legs end majestically they wait
With digits each an eternity long,
The balls and arches and heels set your gait,
Soles impressions left in sand and song.

Enveloped in shrouds of cotton and wool,
Locked in coffins of rubber and leather,
The steel-toed tombs constrict and smother full
Sealed against cold and inclement weather

In work, in leisure, they behave the same,
A Hundred steamy glands producing sweat
This flood of salty perspiration blame,
For feet odiferous and socks made wet.

You bare your soles because we're friends I think,
So wash them please because they really stink.

Daves Feet as Shoes

I turned Daves big 13s



into these beautiful slip-ons.

The Characters of Gen Con 2006

A Photo Tour of the Convention Through the People Who Dressed for the Occasion

Cross Posted to Dane Bramage

Where I Was or What I Did to Their Summer Vacation Part Two

Okay I mentioned the prizes and showed you the pictures. Now a little more about the program. Every day for 4 days the kids had listened to two Bible messages. They were also given 1 hour to do crafts (younger kids) or watch skits and play games (teens). They then had one hour to eat and ride the go-karts and play video games. We rented a tent. I was big enough to hold half of our go-kart course, the concession stand, a platform with a pulpit and the bleachers.

Part of the course was set up outside in such a way that if needed we could run the karts just on the inside if it rained.

All the racing flags were donated.

The kids spent their time in the tent according to shifts. The 6 - 12 year olds stayed in the tent to hear their second message.

While we didn't get the number of teenagers we looking for, we did have more kids than we did last year. Growth is a good thing. My duties, aside from transportation responsibilities as a Bus Captain included skit acting. Thankfully there are no pictures of me as Wonton Fooey and I think they neglected to record my rendition of "All My Children" meets "West Side Story". Beyond that I was on crowd control and a teacher's helper. I was glad I wasn't designated a "Baptism Floater". I'm not sure how we were suppose to take that title but I kept envisioning some hapless church member face down in the baptistery.

And just so you don't think crowd control was easy, imagine Tuesday, over 200 kids ages 4-12, hopped up on nachos and orange drink. Two police cruisers from the Brimfield Police Department just outside the tent. It was nearly impossible but we got all the kids out and in a nice group to watch the officers turn on the lights and sirens. Then one officer said over his loud speaker: "Hey kids, come on over and look inside the car."

Rookies. It was like standing in front of a heard of gazelle being chased by a cheetah. I was literally peeling kids off the car windows. The fingerprints were so thick you couldn't see inside the cruiser. I yelled until I was hoarse, "Go to your classroom". The reply was the same from every kid: "I didn't get to see the guns!"

After the flood of micro humanity receded there were two cops standing next to the cruiser wondering how a thirty pound body pulled a side view mirror off the car. Rookies. The Brimfield Fire Department had the right idea the day before. Keep the kids a good distance from the engine and fire the water cannon at them.



Wednesday the Brimfield Rescue unit came and talked to the kids. I wondered if the Coroner was going to put in an appearance on Thursday, but that's just how my mind works.

After it was said and done we had over 130 decisions for Christ and had baptized 112 kids and teens (we baptized 55 on Tuesday which may be a church record for most baptisms in a day.) In the end that is what is important.


Cross Posted to Dane Bramage

Where I Was or What I Did to Their Summer Vacation

Okay I told you real life got intense and here is where I spent a great deal of time, both in preparation and execution.


With school scarcely out, we decided to host the biggest Vacation Bible School in the area this week. We called it The Heritage 500, after our church, Heritage Baptist Church. We held classes and activities for four days from 3:00pm until 8:00pm (we the workers had to be there earlier and didn't get home afterwards until much later) Here are the busses from Monday bringing kids to our little country church in Magadore Village Ohio. Some of you are familiar with Northeast Ohio and will recognize the communities.

We reach Akron, Barberton, Kent, Revenna, and we have two busses that come from Canton. I am a Bus Captain (I drive a van since I lack a CDL) So I took two days of vacation to work 4 afternoons at VBS. Here's another shot of the busses.

More beneath the fold.

We chose a racing theme and taught messages all week about being in God's race. We wanted to attract as many teenagers as we possibly could. So we offered a prize.

This prize ('95 Firebird with T tops) comes with Drivers Ed donated by one of our sponsors and will be given away Sunday night after our annual Teen Rally. Teens 13-18 years old are eligible to win. I would love to say that we had so many teens we didn't know what to do with them but the car did not turn out to be as great a draw as we hoped.

Speaking of sponsors, Valvoline was more than happy to lend us this guy. He stands taller than our fellowship hall.

Other sponsors include Pepsi and McDonalds.

So as not to forget the little kids, we had a race oriented prize for them too. A brand new Go-kart.

Kids 4-12 years old were eleigible. We held the drawing Thursday. One lucky kid will get his go-kart delivered Saturday.

We also had a prize for one of the adults who attended our Wednesday night service during VBS.

Again you would think that a free car would pack them in but the parents we were trying to reach stayed away in droves. One lucky woman took home the Villager after the service.

I have more pictures and more to tell you but I am very tired. So there will be a part two.

UPDATE Crud. It looks like the "folding" technology i once employed no longer works. I will have to find a fix for it.


Cross Posted to Dane Bramage

Bird Flu Epidemic Strikes Southern Florida

This is the tragic scene from the front lawn of a Mr. Your Name Here.

Cross Posted to Dane Bramage

Little Known Facts About Ohio

Well you may have wondered where I've been (or not.) I am going to tell you anyway otherwise I would have nothing to post. I spent the weekend in the Ohio State capitol of Columbus. I went down to meet some people I only know from the internet. We told that to everyone we encountered this weekend. You can just imagine the stares. But it's true. I frequent GOPUSA, a conservative political forum. Some of the people decided to have a meeting in Columbus. Since it is only a couple hours away I went. Conservatives are crazy.

We went to the Franklin Park Conservatory.



It's a great place if you are into flowers and winged vermin.



Inside the conservatory there were wondrous displays. Here we find an Amish farm. Note how tiny the Amish people are.



This was a problem for border patrol agents when the Amish immigrated to Ohio. Entire communities of Amish people were smuggled into the area in a single suitcase. Many thought their fanatical adherence to archaic technology was faith based. In actuallity it was size based. They couldn't find cars, phones, or electric stoves in their size.



This also explains why Amish like to stay away from "modern" communities in favor of their own. The first Amish settlement was in the backyard of Jerry Spencer next to his outdoor pool. The entire community was wiped out by a flood when Arlen "Fatty" Spencer did a cannonball off the high board. And now you know. If you want to read more about my trip and see pictures of the crazy conservatives who went, check out the forums at GOPUSA and find the "Ohio Road Trip" thread. Tell them ChristianBuckeyeMan sent you.

Cross Posted to Dane Bramage

Dane Bramage

Dane Bramage

Conservative Yeah Baby!

Your Political Profile

Overall: 100% Conservative, 0% Liberal

Social Issues: 100% Conservative, 0% Liberal

Personal Responsibility: 100% Conservative, 0% Liberal

Fiscal Issues: 100% Conservative, 0% Liberal

Ethics: 100% Conservative, 0% Liberal

Defense and Crime: 100% Conservative, 0% Liberal

How Liberal / Conservative Are You?

Amnesia

Number 1

You have no identification papers, no credit cards, no jewelry, nothing to give you a clue to your identity.

Your lack of memories is intensified by your self-doubt. But doubt about what? If only you could remember. There is one thing for sure. You know deep down that this whole situation is Number 2’s fault. You don’t like him. He’s hurt people you are sure. He’s hurt you. You also feel that at least one of the corpses was a friend. You like Number 8 a great deal. Could it be love? But you know that coming in the fate of the world rested in your actions. And you remember something about a Superhero Summit.


Number 2

You have no identification papers, no credit cards, no jewelry, nothing to give you a clue to your identity.

Despite your lack of memories, you feel very confident. You feel as though you are in charge. You are the leader on this job but you don’t remember the details. You feel that Number 3 is here to serve you and you can depend on him/it to watch your back. And then there is this nasty hatred of fire. You remember you hate fire perhaps because of something that happened before. You are leery of Number 1 and you hate Number 7 with a passion. But that is who you are. You do everything deliberately and with passion.

Number 3

You have no identification papers, no credit cards, no jewelry, nothing to give you a clue to your identity.

You are consumed with anxiety. Is that the correct feeling? You wonder if there are memories in your metal skull or are you just like your destroyed brothers strewn all over the cavern floor. There is nothing at all human in them. At the moment when these humans all lost everything, did you gain something? Are you now a sentient being where before, who knows? The source of your anxiety is rooted in something else. You feel like you are suffocating. You are claustrophobic. How? You feel that you must at all times help Number 2. You will always have his back. Is this loyalty or programming?

Number 4

You have no identification papers, no credit cards, no jewelry, nothing to give you a clue to your identity.

You look at number 5 and don’t like what you see. You look at Corpse Number 1 and like it even less. What is the connection? You feel you must keep an eye on number 5 at all times. But there is something else. You dislike number 8. There’s something about what she did to you. You know also that there is an important Summit happening soon.

Number 5

You have no identification papers, no credit cards, no jewelry, nothing to give you a clue to your identity.

You look at number 4 and don’t like what you see. You look at Corpse Number 1 and like it even less. What is the connection? Do you have some temporal fugue ability and these are copies of you? Does the death of Corpse Number 1 mean you are going to die soon? What if you are the “time clone”? You remember Number 4 gave all of you orders. You like number 8 and you really like Number 1.

Number 6

You have no identification papers, no credit cards, no jewelry, nothing to give you a clue to your identity.

You do have:
A Dart Gun
An odd pair of handcuffs that you must obviously throw at your target
An odd gun with a cylinder of gas attached. You don’t think it’s a weapon.

You are the man. You are obviously the smartest person here, and probably the smartest person anywhere. Your lack of personal memories has not diminished your mental capacity at all. In fact you find that not having the distraction of memories allows you to think much more clearly. You are already entertaining several theories on how to restore the memories using a psychotropic photon stimulator or aromatherapy. You know that no one appreciates your genius. Especially not the boss, whoever that is. You do feel strongly that you are responsible for Number 3. You have an intimate understanding of his functioning, based on what you observe in the wreckage of his “brothers”. And while you feel you have to follow Number 2’s orders, you don’t like it. He doesn’t respect you.

Number 7

You have no identification papers, no credit cards, no jewelry, nothing to give you a clue to your identity.

You care a great deal for Number 8. You are pretty sure she is your lady. You dislike Number 2 intensely. You fought before you are sure. You have an ace in the hole against him but you don’t remember what it is. You feel Number 3 is an abomination and should be disassembled.

Number 8

You have no identification papers, no credit cards, no jewelry, nothing to give you a clue to your identity.

You are sure that Number 2 is your guy. You have great feelings for him. At the same time you feel as though you have spent a great deal of time with Number 7. You are sure of one other thing there’s a big important meeting somewhere. It will be soon.

Security camera playback…

You are in combat. It is total chaos. You cannot determine what side anyone is on. Then Dr. Nihilist enters the chamber. 3 men and 2 women flank him.

“I am overwhelmed by the irony. I struggled so hard to infiltrate the Squadron
of Justice and after I succeeded, I learned that they had infiltrated my ranks
as well. I am surprised you made it this far. I am just hours away from
destroying all life on the North American continent. My rain of liquid light
will eradicate everything, showing the rest of the world they have no hope
against me, and wiping out most of the so-called superheroes at the same time. I
would love to chitchat further but alas I have more preparations to make.
However you can study the effects of liquid light first hand!”

The noise above the chamber draws everyone’s attention. Dr. Nihilist and his entourage leave as a single drop of intense light drops from the ceiling. When it hits the center of the chamber there is a massive explosion.